When I started this blog earlier in the year, I had every intention of making it a place where I can post about my dreams, and how i’m getting there, or not getting there; A place where I could just leave some nice inspiration and hope that others who were struggling to achieve something might find there way here. I was kind of in a dark place for me, at that point. Honestly today, I don’t feel like I’m as off track or that I’m way off pace with what I want to do anymore. I went through a semester of school and I was legitimately happy. I didn’t even have a week where I just wanted to actually quit. I am kind of proud of how this turned out for me. I didn’t have an emotional “what am I doing with my life ??” breakdown at all this semester. I am really proud of myself because my only serious “I quit” moment happened during finals and that’s perfectly acceptable because it’s finals.
I just felt the need to talk about the progress I’ve made this semester, even though noone’s listening, or reading, or whatever-ing this.
The Lion King of Asgard
why did i never look at it this way before??
my last geology class was the one i’d been waiting all semester for. we talked about climate, and how the earth works and well it was just amazing.
My idiot roommate:
I was writing my paper and the day after tomorrow comes on, princess asks me to explain the movie, so i do, and then i get to the part about ice ages…. she looks at me with astonishment and asks, you mean like the movie? that happened in real life? I practically fall over at her stupidity and proceed to explain to her the ice age.
i feel like the religion leads up to whisper of the heart, so:
i haven’t prayed in quite a while, well i did the other night and i asked for a sign. should i really be trying to leave this school and follow my dreams? This leads me to : the day after tomorrow being on tv, that movie made me even more into weather. then a few days later my roommate had the science channel on I saw an ad for a weather related show on that evening, after watching it, a special on hurricanes came on. I enjoyed every second. if this is not a sign then i don’t know what is.
whisper of the heart-
I was just watching this movie I never before realized how it can relate to my life. both of the main characters give themselves tests to see if they’re worthy of achieving their dreams. I feel like i need to do the same thing. I need to find a way to test myself to see if going away to study meteo is what’s right for me. but what can this test be?
sorry for the long rant. It would have been more separated if i actually had any kind of time this week.
good news, it’s exam week.
meaning it’s almost summer so i can finally catch up on those things i want to post about. plus more
-how my hoodie ended up in the big apple
-how tie-dyeing makes you look like a smurf
-how college strips you of your sanity
and my favorite
-how the city scares me.
things I would like to talk about but don’t have time to :
- geology class.
- how I can now relate my life to whisper of the heart.
- idiot foreign roommate [ why can’t she be awesome, like I imagined?]
- something else? maybe religion?
- i still feel like i’m missing a point.
With Finals coming up, I seem to have lost most of my focus for studying and writing.
Anyone have any awesome study tips?
- Rapunzel: I've been looking out of a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be?
- Flynn Rider: It will be.
- Rapunzel: And what if it is? What do I do then?
- Flynn Rider: Well,that's the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.
Really last night’s episode of Grey’s was just so relevant to my life right now. I may or may not go watch it again, leaning towards may.
I’ve been struggling to be happy with what I’m learning again, it’s been a little easier than the last few times because I’ve been absorbed with the sorority. The busier I am the easier it is to forget how unhappy I am, I just feel stressed because nothing is getting done.
That’s actually one of my problems. I keep telling myself that I am going to be awesome and go away to school in Florida and study tropical weather. The truth is I’ve felt held back from doing this for the longest time. I didn’t want to go away because what if I felt the same disinterest there as I did here? What if I was homesick? What if I can’t afford it? What if it’s not everything I thought it would be? [this reminds me of a quote from Tangled which I will post later] I focused on all of these what ifs. Well what if I go and actually find where I belong. What if I love every second of it?
I’ve been dreaming of doing this for years. I’m at the point now where I just want to take a leap of faith because if I get my undergrad in geology, I wouldn’t love what I do everyday. I wouldn’t want to get out of bed for work in the morning. That’s what I need. I need to love what I’m doing. everyone has the right to love their job. I hope this isn’t an un-realistic expectation.
I finally did something. I applied. I might get in, I might not. That’s all up to fate to decide. Is it finally time for me to start going after what I’ve wanted for so long? Only time will tell.